Become Fearless

Let Yourself Be Afraid, It 's scary but you will get more out of it!
My favorite definition of fearlessness is this: the ability to remain soft and open, even under very difficult circumstances. Most often, fear causes us to shut down and sometimes run to alcohol, bad relationships, food, work and become insensitive to our own and others' humanity. We just want to get away, but the quickest way out is to stay. If you can slow down a bit, you can see that fear rises, abides and dissolves on its own. Allowing this process is the mark of the spiritual warrior. The coward turns attention toward fighting fear; the warrior accommodates it. In this workshop we discover what this means and how do we take the first step.........

Try this: The next time you notice fear rising, whether it appears as anxiety, melancholy, or anger, stop, grab a piece of paper, and write one short sentence that describes your fear. Start with the words "I'm afraid…," then scribble the first thoughts that come to mind, without regard for grammar or rationale. It could be something such as, "I'm afraid to check my e-mail because I've already got too much to do," or, "I'm afraid about an upcoming conversation with my boyfriend," or, "I'm afraid I have cancer." Slowly read your words over three times. Take a full inhalation and exhalation after each reading. Avoid any attempt at amping up or toning down your agitation. If your afraid - you must overcome it by action- take action to face the Giant!!! Each time your heart is beating & you find your thoughts consumed......do it! YOU will find  cracking open those shutters, conquering that fear is how you become amazing ~far better than living beneath the Lion not knowing what could have happened.

Put Others First

Fear will cause you to ignore your authentic desires and put your life on hold. I call it the "Rocking Chair "syndrome. Rock back and forth day in, day out. "I am so busy" (your famous tag line)making yourself busy with work and life so you never really have to look at your life because it can be painful and wondering how you got here and how do I fix this. One decision at a time!

 We want to avoid, retreat, and think what we want isn't possible or realistic. This doesn't hurt only you! Those who love you are also deprived, but just as often I find the opposite works. When I stop and remember who is in my life, why I love them, what they need, and how happy they would be made by my happiness, I find tremendous courage to face my fears. I'm doing it for us! My actions are rooted in love, not aggression—and loving others is a secret power source of fearlessness.

Try this: Ask yourself: "If I were to get past my worst fears, who else would be made happy?" If you can't think of one person who would delight in your delight, imagine the person you most admire sitting across from you. This person can be real or fictional, but when you think of them, you feel a great sense of encouragement. Write down each person's name and explain why he or she would feel happy if you conquered your fear. You have an inclination: in the flash of one second you feel what needs to be done. It is not a product of your education; it is not scientific or logical; you simply pick up on the message. And then you act: you just do it."

Relax

The opposite of fear is not dauntlessness, it's relaxation. The ability to remain open and mindful under all circumstances, no matter how uncomfortable, is a sign of amazing courage. When we're not able to maintain mindfulness, we lose track of what's actually going on around us. We confuse what we think is happening with what is happening. When attention is absorbed in fear, we're distracted from what is actually going on. Like remaining in the still eye of a tornado—as opposed to being swept away by it—fearlessness requires full, moment-to-moment attention and receptivity, two qualities rooted in relaxation.

Try this: The next time you notice fear rising, stop what you're doing. Draw attention inward. Where is the fear manifesting in your body? Fear can show itself in a tense jaw, clenched belly, shallow breathing, red face or neck, withdrawal and the infamous outburst of the boiling pot on the most innocent of victims- sometimes our kids. You don't always have to calm your mind to calm your body. It can work the other way around. Go for a walk speak upward, declare what you want in face of the fear or anger.

To declare is POWERFUL! Take back your power that fear has drained from you.Focus and declare what you want and fear disappears ~ there is no room for both at the same moment in time.

 In Buddhism, there are several categories of suffering, one of which is called "The Suffering of Suffering," which is different from the normal suffering human beings face. We all experience loss and disappointment. But we increase our suffering when we develop complex stories about where it came from, where it's going, or whose fault it all is. I'm not saying we shouldn't be thoughtful about the events of our life, but at a certain point, all that storytelling becomes counterproductive. Instead of analyzing your feelings, you can consider the counsel of American Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön: "Feel the feeling and drop the story."

Try this: When you notice you're beginning to spin out, instead of thinking about your suffering, feel it. Notice where it resides in your body, whether it feels hot or cold, dull or sharp, speedy or spacey. You could even cry or stomp around. Write in a journal only for your eyes to see. Be patient and let yourself feel what you're feeling as an end in itself. You'll be amazed at how much faster suffering resolves itself when you cut out the suffering of suffering.

Learn to Meditate

All the suggestions above are predicated on one thing: the ability to maintain mindfulness and awareness, moment to moment, as best you can. When you don't consciously focus your attention, it wanders randomly. Choosing what to focus on requires practice—the practice of meditation. Then it will be easier to put the previous suggestions into play. No matter which type of meditation you do, if you stick with it, your ability to move through fear with confidence will get stronger and stronger. You will find that there are some amazing parts of you that decide to show up....but only if you take this time to notice them.